On ABC News I talked about Modern Manhood and answered the first question I often get: Why is a woman writing a book called Modern Manhood? You can watch the full interview here: https://abcn.ws/2qYORao
Can I still binge on my problematic favs?
Over the past three years, I received a lot of questions from you guys about whether it was still ok to binge on Louie, play R.Kelly at the family bbqs, cue up a favorite Ryan Adams song. And hell, Kevin Spacey!?
This one is a meaty one. It's the Media chapter in Modern Manhood. And in it we meet Brittany T. Oliver, co-founder of Not Without Black Women.
Welcome to the voices of Modern Manhood.
In her family, R. Kelly is one of the greats. Her mom and grandmother still play his music in the home. But as a survivor herself, Oliver cannot listen to R.Kelly without thinking of her own experiences the experiences of other survivors.
While the conversation in the book will offer more nuance, Oliver's key takeaway has stuck with me ever since we talked:
“The first requirement that I have is not, I want you to stop listening to him,” she says. “I’m not concerned about if someone’s listening to his music. What I care about the most is are you willing to face the truth. Are you willing to understand and accept that sexual abuse and sexual violence is an issue within our communities?”
For Oliver, the question of whether or not you listen or watch your problematic fav is not really the most important question at hand. It's what you're doing when you're not listening — are you supporting and believing survivors? And how. Period.
Modern Manhood is out now everywhere with Simon & Schuster. bit.ly/modernmanhoodbook
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